Sunday, September 28, 2008

He Made It Go Away

He made it go away.

I had this dilemma involving something material that I loved. It was beautifully crafted yet functional. One day, much to my chagrin, it didn’t fit into my life anymore. Literally. I couldn’t bear the thought of living without it, but suddenly it was a glaring hindrance. I wished it away. I didn’t want it to go entirely away, but in a moment of irrationality, I said aloud that I wished it would disappear.

Let’s have a little fun with metaphors. Let’s pretend it was a man. He was handsome and useful. He could wash the dishes on occasion and troubleshoot my computer now and then. With time, he came to symbolize something more: stability. He was my rock. He greeted me every day when I arrived home from work and spent time with me liberally. Nevertheless, one day I realized he didn’t fit into my life anymore. I had to make a quick decision: should I cut him off entirely or send him away, keeping him within reach in case someday he would fit back into my life? I fretted because neither option was ideal. My true desire was to keep him in my life fully.

Meanwhile, imagine another man standing nearby, observing. For whatever reason, he is moved and wants to help. He convinces me that he will escort my rock someplace out of my way, yet close by. I accept his offer because I believe I have no choice.

Exhausted, I put my rock out of mind for a few weeks. As time passes, though, I inquire after his fate so that I can reach him when/if I can ever welcome him back into my life. I then learn that he has been “disposed of.”

Should I be grateful? The second man wanted to be my knight in shining armor so he heeded my cry for help. But now there is no hope for a future reunion with my rock. I am disappointed, yet strangely flattered that the knight went to so much trouble for me.

In the real scenario, I am being compensated for the unauthorized “disposal.” I’m a little worried the knight will be fired because of it. Did he fully understand the stakes when he decided to help this damsel in distress?

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