Tonight I had dinner with a couple female friends, and when I arrived at the restaurant they greeted me with pained looks. They are about to embark on a beach vacation and, in preparation, had just gotten Brazilian waxes. "I'm bald as a bandicoot!" declared one. The other said, "It really wasn't as awful as I thought it would be. It just feels like a thousand needles are sticking me in my nether region every few seconds."
Yet another reason celibacy has its advantages. As long as I'm celibate, you won't find me lifting my legs straight in the air to allow a stranger to pour hot wax on my most delicate parts.
As an aside, I needed to visit the ladies' room in the restaurant, and it was out of toilet paper. I alerted the manager and while I was waiting for a fresh roll, two women walked in wanting to use the toilet. I explained the situation to them. One left, but the other unwrapped a (normal-sized) bandaid, walked past me saying, "It's okay, I'm all set" and walked into the stall. I'm not sure what she did with the bandaid but surmised that she had a Brazilian wax like my friends; otherwise, the bandaid would be the last thing she'd want to befriend in the bathroom stall. Madness!
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